Courage Archives • The Write Concept, Inc.

If you’ve had any conversation of significance with me in the last two years, you know I am a huge fan of the Canadian mystery writer, Louise Penny, author of the Inspector Gamache series.

From the first book in the series, Still Life, Chief Inspector Armand Gamache tells the detectives under his supervision there are four saying that lead to wisdom. They are:

I was wrong
I’m sorry
I don’t know
I need help

Seems to me these four statements are the underpinnings of quality relationships and great customer service, no matter what business you might be in. Ultimately, much about our relationships – personal or business – depends our our willingness to admit to being human.

Why is it sometimes so hard to say, “I was wrong”?

When did it become a sign of weakness to say, “I don’t know,” or “I need help”?

And what healing could come if we all had the courage just to say, “I’m sorry”?

I read a post recently that said we must learn to accept the apology we never received. I think we must also learn to give the apology that might never be accepted. I’ve begun, in my morning meditation, to offer forgiveness and/or apology to those I may never see or hear from again. In the end, the one we must forgive, and the one to whom we must apologize, is ourselves.

I’ve been wrong. I’m often sorry. There are many things I don’t know, and many times I need help.

How about you?

Image of lemons on a lemon tree We call the bad things, the dysfunctional things “lemons.” We say, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade,” meaning throw a bag of sugar over it so you don’t see the dysfunction, the mechanical failures, the sourness of your situation.

Lemons grow in warm climates, their juice sour and acidic – much like the emotions we experience when things that we perceive as “bad” happen to us or around us. But that sour taste, that lip-puckering tartness, can play another role – an amazing role – if we embrace it. Lemons are teachers, messengers, angels sent to reshape us. Welcome them, love them, and squeeze out every bit of juice they offer.

I was handed a life-sucking lemon – a diagnosis of Stage 3C uterine cancer – in July 2009. Over the next three years, I lost my business, my retirement fund, and in the end, my home. I tell you it was awesome – because the destruction of those years led me to the life I live today.

I could have viewed cancer as a death sentence, but chose instead to turn myself into “Lindiana Jones” on a wild and dangerous adventure that would prove my tenacity and strength.

After the radical hysterectomy, I could have handed my life over to my oncologist. I didn’t, opting instead to do my own research on treatments and creating – with my oncologist’s hesitant agreement – on a plan that worked for me instead of the standard protocol.

I could have isolated myself to avoid infection or, even harder to endure, the fears of family and friends. I didn’t do that, either. There were weeks during the year of chemotherapy that I was relegated to home with dangerously low blood counts. The rest of the time, I was out as often as my energy level allowed.

I chose to turn the most sour year of my life into a positive, life-affirming experience. It wasn’t easy, but this is what I learned:
When life gives you lemons, find someone with vodka, and throw a party.

Category: Courage

Four sayings that lead to wisdom

Love the Lemons in Your Life